Be mindful about how you respond when you are disappointed in yourself…

I, personally find it very difficult to deal with any kind of disappointment. It is quite an uneasy feeling to be disappointed. In most instances, the response is through anger, sadness, and bitterness. One thing we must remember as people is that nobody is perfect. It is often difficult for us, to admit that in some cases we are the contributors and we are actually responsible for disappointing ourselves. How many goals have you set in the past that you did not achieve and that left you so disappointed? This article is intended to help us deal with disappointment when we are the contributors by being mindful of our responses to disappointment.

Here is how you should NOT be responding

1. Pretend it did not happen

It is often difficult to confront situations especially when we need to own up our contribution to the failure. Denial seems to be the best response. Let us be honest there are situations in our lives that we simply wish did not occur. As a result, we pretend and never want to discuss those bad situations. We would rather deny the reality that in fact, we are the reason that we did not achieve some goals. If you are serious about your own growth, you need to stop being in denial mode. It is an unhealthy response.

2. Self-Punishment

We sometimes make decisions and choices that leave us frustrated. When this occurs we are quick to punish ourselves. Some examples of this could be negative self-talk, unable to accept compliments, or feeling unworthy of anything good. These examples usually stem from excessive guilt because of the outcome of a choice or decision. If you do feel this way, it is normal. It is, however, unhealthy for your mental health.

How To Deal With Disappointment- When YOU Are The Contributor

3. Quit

As people, we always somehow expect to achieve the goals we set for ourselves. When this does not happen we simply want to give up. We can be our own worst enemies and judges at the same time. Always remember that nobody is perfect and that includes you as an individual. Do not disregard all efforts just because of one failure. We have to accept that we can not have it all in one go. Quitting is an unhealthy response.

How we should be responding for the sake of our mental health

1. Ask yourself the hard questions

You will be surprised by what you can learn about yourself if you ask yourself questions about how and why you did not achieve particular goals. You may find that your answers lie in those questions because you will get to explore what you could have done better.

2. Bounce Back

When we fail or make mistakes we need to remember that it is actually an opportunity to try again. Be kind to yourself and not hard. We always have two choices, either, be bitter or be better. When you make that choice it will indicate how you will move forward.

3. Take a moment

The reality is so often our failures trigger very negative emotional responses in us. Be gracious to yourself and give yourself some time to calm down and avoid being irrational and reactive but rather analyze every situation that you are presented with.

4. List your feelings

It is important to acknowledge the emotions and feelings that you feel when you are disappointed in yourself. Do not try to block them out. Those emotions are valid. Do not try to deny your reality, that only sweeps the emotions that are brought by disappointment under the carpet. It will not serve you and your growth, unfortunately. Be honest with yourself so that you can move forward with a plan and be mindful of every moment.

Read More: The Psychology of DisappointmentMental Health: Self- Care Tips

Check out this thought-provoking TedTalk video. The speaker speaks more about the importance of positive self-talk.